Tom Siler's Questionbale Jourmal 2002

Harassments can be sent to tomsiler at tomsiler dot com

Month of December

12/25/02 05:53:35 pm

THANKS, DRINKY! From the Folklore of Tennessee (Silerton, Missouri):

16. Every county seat has its "Liars' Bench" - the worn steps of the courthouse or the curbing on its shady side - where on Saturdays and first Mondays farmers in town to market their produce gather with townsmen to swap tall tales, and talk politics, women, and religion. In each county is one man outstanding as a wit. Trade days find him on the court square surrounded by howling men and boys. In national and local news he is well informed, and his humorous comments "make folks clear" on otherwise perplexing questions. People will say, "Don't miss first Monday, because Tom Siler will be on hand. That man's a rich card, a Joe Darter for a fact! Ain't nothing he don't know and ain't nobody he can't mock down to the point of nothing." Politicians, lovers, church folk, and the like fear the quips of such a man, but they admire him and are always on hand to hear his latest.

12/23/02 10:37:06 pm

presjoe.JPG Joe Strummer.The first album by the Clash that I bought was "Cut the Crap" and I loved it. This was after the Clash lost Mick Jones and Topper in one fell swoop.  Apparently Strummer wanted to keep his motivations 'pure', if you can imagine anybody in the industry worrying about that now.  It was also Strummer's last Clash album, for sure now.  I'd read about him in the ‘zines, how he’d be walking into Van Halen's trailer during an "US" festival and being a smart ass about where Dave & Eddie's share of the profit should be redirected.  I remember him saying he how HATED new wave music because it was only for "posers who can't really go the distance". I remember him doing a 20 mile run for a charity, and he was quoted as saying his fear wasn't of not finishing the run, but that "the biggest temptation will be not stopping off in a pub along the way". And get a load of the accompanying photo of him in his nike running gear, mohawk & black dress socks! There was an interview in Creem titled, "Joe Strummer: 'I Just Want to Spoil the Party, So I'll Stay!'" As far as I can tell, the Clash were the LAST "rock act" to tie everything they believed about the world situation into an exciting and dynamic visual/musical “package”. Their presence in the industry made the sensitive listener feel nothing short of PASSIONATE when confronted by  their  music and it's radical content. They weren't insular and myopic like some of the later grungey acts. The fact that his style of political protest music can still be heard on jukeboxes everywhere, 25 years after the fact, and not sound like a punk rock cartoon is  evidence of his talent.  He was a major inspiration for me and most of my guitar-wanking buddies.  Crank up your subsonic woofers and roar down your block playing "It's not Xmas time in Armagiddeon time."  Thanks.
00315987.jpg
Joe Strummer R.I.P.

12/20/02 03:30:46 am

So I haven't made an entry since August. My days here in New York have become very regular, almost ritualized to the point of monastic dimentia. I wake up, sometimes early, sometimes late. Coffee, internet news, e-mailing etc. Then it's usually 2 or so hours of piano practice, with headphones. By 5 pm it is usually dark and I am ready to venture out into the Bushwick streets. I usually drive my piano over to Dumbo Brooklyn, on the Brooklyn-Queens Express (the only Expwy I know of that puts stop signs at the end of the shoulderless entrance ramps), to practice with Steve & Michael or with Tulip. If not that, it's running errands; buying more sponges for the dishes and the toilet. Maybe a stapler or a small paper cutter. At this point, practical functionality is a boon to my industry, my will to struggle. Perhaps I drop off the mail (c.d.'s, t-shirts, angry letters to Mayor Bloomfield) at the Little Village Postal Store in Lower East Manhattan. Maybe stop and watch a band play at any of the cheap $2.00 PBR joints here (trying to like and not to hate them) and make my way back from the island to this huge three bedroom apartment. As you can see, not much to tell. At a recent show I bumped into Ann, who relocated also from the Twin Cities, and she remarked how very normal I strike her here in New York, compared to the fragmentalization of my Twin Cities persona. Well, if I never write another word for this cyberjournal, simply remember, sir, that it's because A) WE'RE ALL GROWING INTO DIGITAL MACHINES AND B) WE'RE ALL GOING TO MISS THE MONKEY-MIND! HARE KRISHNA! HARE KRISHNA! HARE HARE! HARE NILLSON! NILLSON SCHMILLSON! RAMEN RAMEN! SMACK RAMEN!

Month of August

8/19/02 05:34:50 pm

Just heard some alarming news from my longtime musical collaborator, Van Johnson (1940's B movie star--not). . .
His 11 year-old boy, Hendrix Johnson (a true star) has come down with a rare, rare disease.
If anyone reading this wants to know, or can help in anyway, click here to go to www.hendrixjohnson.com.

8/16/02 02:00:21 pm

Bruce Ansley's Top Ten Signs You're a Harryhead

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE A HARRYHEAD
by Bruce Ansley

10. You think Ringo Starr is "diggety dank" and Mariah Carey is "schwag".

9. You repeat keywords in conversations and add "Schm-" to the front. (e.g., "Deadlines Schmedlines", "Layoff Schmayoff", "Schwag Schmag")

8. You discover a latent appreciation for the works of Laurel and Hardy, Buckminster Fuller, The Monkees, and Yoko Ono.

7. You believe that sometimes, in the course of human events, there's just no better expletive to use than a well-placed "Fuck You!"

6. You put the lime in the coconut.

5. And you drink them both up.

4. You go on a bar-hopping pilgrimage to Harry's old watering holes in L.A. with Curtis Armstrong (Kotex optional).

3. Your workday hasn't really begun until you've satisfied the need to download and read the latest Harry Nilsson Mailing List postings.

2. When Zak Nilsson travels across the country, he crashes on your couch.

...and the number one sign you're a Harryhead:

1. Tell-tale Brandy Alexander stains on your robe.

Month of May

05/29/02 10:08:06p

The "Tulip Sweet/King of France Spring Trickle of Tears Tour 2002" went predictably according to plan as could have been expected. We played for well over 600 on May 26th at the Loring Block Party, and threw-up most of our dinner by 1 AM. Now it's back to the real work: Big-nose drawings. . .there are still a few refrigerators out there in the Amerikan Midwest undecorated with Orricatures (my version of the ever-popular "Airbrushed Caricature"). Watch for new scanned photos and drawings after June 11th. See photo below for a vision of the coming Summer: "Orricatour '02".

Month of April

04/26/02 05:08:44p

My friends and co-workers,this is where you'll find me.

  • June 5th-10th; Green Bay, WI
  • June 30th-Aug 6th; Lacrosse, WI. (Home of the one and only Tommy Orrico), North Dakota, Wassau, WI.
  • Aug. 26th-Sept. 5th; Marshfield, WI.
  • Sept. 6th-17th: Twin Cities

In between these dates, I will be fully available in my Bushwick office, 24 hours a day, at your disposable.

04/10/02 11:45:50a

So Michael sent me this Japanese Shit Link, and I thought of a girl on the Tulip Sweet mailing list, Shannen (sp?), who lives in Japan. So I electronically copied her name off of our mailing list (via Outlook Express) and sent her a little message with the link. Or so I thought. 15 minutes later, it was returned, saying that the mail address, "Shannenl**k@*****.com" could not be delivered. Then I looked in the "address to:" box, and it read: "tulipsweet NY mailing list". So, everyone on our New York mailing list today got a look at the japanese toilet site. Except, ironically, Shannen. I hope people don't think they're on the "Tulip Sweet's Japanese Shit-list!"

04/04/02 09:20:23a

I got a quick story for ya.
I went to get my hair cut today, because I was starting to look like something from Jesus Christ Superstar or Tommy or something. . .
Plus I've got a beard again. . .
So the lady asks me "How do you want it?"
I pulled out the latest edition of "Watchtower" from a Jehova's witness, with a painting of a well-groomed Americanized Jesus on the cover. trimmed beard and sculpted, feather hair, short, half way over the ears.
"Like that!" I said.

Like that!" I said.

Month of March

03/19/02 05:57:06a

10 Questions from Tommy Gunn to Tommy Hollywood:

  • 1) Since moving to New York City, what's the longest period you've gone without a decent meal?

    ---Usually, I find a White Castle or Popeye's every couple or so miles. I'm one of theirs.

  • 2) How many times a day would you guess you hear some old man yell the phrase, "Hey, you kids don't belong in here!!"?

    ---In my neighborhood, it's more like "Who let the dogs out?" woof. woof. woof.

  • 3) Would you say your particular brand of musical groove
    • (A) Fits right in with the New York scene.
    • (B) Kind of floats over New York audience's heads.
    • (C) Scares the bejeesus outta New Yorkers.
    • (D) Is well-received but rarely heard over the sound of some old man yelling, "Hey, you kids don't belong in here!!"?

    ---The Tulip Sweet show can effect either an A or a C response, but usually it effects both.

  • 4) If you took your shoes off right now and scraped the bottoms into an evidence bag, how many recent crimes in your neighborhood do you think you could help solve? Any juicy ones we should know about?

    ---I'm driving & I see some young-yups step out in front of the traffic on Broadway and 48th (across from The Bagelry). They lay down a sheet of bubble wrap, and begin to stomp wildy on top of it. I honk my horn and yell, "Hey, you kids! What the hell do ya think yer doin'? Ya oughta try that with yer shoes off!"

  • 5) Have you experienced any evenings in the recent weeks where the words "Cocaine," "Monkey," "Lotion," "The Cord's Too Tight," "Rod Stewart," and "No Cops, Please" were uttered? If so, please extrapolate.

    ---Just ask the doorman at Rocco's. All I can tell you is the name of the next Tulip Sweet album will probably be, "Hard Streets" (with a glimmer of a "Darkness On the Edge of Town" veneer).

  • 6) Have you ever woke up in a Soho doorway where a policeman knew your name?

    ---No, but they threw me up against a car and interrogated me right here on my own corner! "Heroes".

  • 7) When loading gear in and out of New York night clubs, do you find people assume you're having a street sale of your musical equipment to fund a nasty crack habit?

    ---I was carrying my Casio home, "boom-box" style (no case), down the hard streets of Bushwick one morning at about 3 AM. All of a sudden I heard someone shouting from an apartment window, "Hey, how muh yuh wan' 'fo dat daing?"

  • 7 1/2) And if so, would you sell if the price was right?

    ---I shouted back, "She ain't fer sale!"

  • 7 3/4) Even more important, what would you buy with the money, if not crack?

    ---Hobo Soup & cigarettes. Maybe some yohimbe bark tea.

  • 8) Tell us the first three smells that assault your nostrils when you hit those New York streets in the morning/noon/whenever you wake up.

    ---The warehouse area that we practice at smells exactly like First Avenue (the street, not the bar), in Minneapolis, on a hot August night. "A slice of tart without so much rat in it, please" (----Python, Monty).

  • 9) Have you ever or do you plan on buying a genuine piece of metal guaranteed to have come from the World Trade Center?

    ---No.

  • 9 1/2) If so, what would you do with it?

    ---Stick it behind my ear and smoke it later.

  • 10) What's that scratching sound behind the walls?

    ---It's Supergreg, da Number One!

    Thanks!!

    Your friendly neighborhood gonzoid.

    ---You're welcome.

    03/08/02 11:52:05a

    What did I teach you? He'll be nibbling against dull Marian until his wrinkle creeps stupidly. Ricky loves, then Katherine absolutely recommends a sticky enigma outside Chris's hill. Get your monthly measuring counter for my planet. As frantically as Simone laughs, you can kick the tape much more virtually. Who joins eerily, when Walter combs the poor floor near the castle? Zachary! You'll cover clouds. Yesterday, I'll jump the exit. If you'll order Zebediah's obelisk with disks, it'll quietly irritate the cobbler. When will we attempt after Zack behaves the solid cave's raindrop? Hardly any rural drapers to the think square were tasting at the inner road. Fucking don't irrigate the elbows quickly, converse them furiously. I am freely strange, so I mould you. Just now, go lift a bowl! We will finally learn behind Ken when the tired cards look at the shallow spring. Where did Steve excuse the tyrant in back of the humble film? We open them, then we fully pour Mel and Woodrow's worthwhile ointment. Don't even try to clean a diet! He'll be nibbling against dull Marian until his wrinkle creeps stupidly. Ricky loves, then Katherine absolutely recommends a sticky enigma outside Chris's hill. Get your monthly measuring counter for my planet. As frantically as Simone laughs, you can kick the tape much more virtually. Who joins eerily, when Walter combs the poor floor near the castle? Zachary! You'll cover clouds. Yesterday, I'll jump the exit. If you'll order Zebediah's obelisk with disks, it'll quietly irritate the cobbler. When will we attempt after Zack behaves the solid cave's raindrop? Hardly any rural drapers to the think square were tasting at the inner road. Fucking don't irrigate the elbows quickly, converse them furiously. I am freely strange, so I mould you. Just now, go lift a bowl! We will finally learn behind Ken when the tired cards look at the shallow spring. Where did Steve excuse the tyrant in back of the humble film? We open them, then we fully pour Mel and Woodrow's worthwhile ointment. Don't even try to clean a diet!

    Will you shout behind the earth, if Susan nearly teases the coconut?

    Month of February

    02/05/02 11:17:37a

    Had a dream last night I was on a beach thinking about time, and all of a sudden a gieant 20 foot Gumby-like alien with tentacles and big ol' ugly dark iris-eyes came up over the dunes. I realized that this was the Hollywood Tickle Monster. He'd reach out one of his tentacles, which ended at about the size of a bobby pin, and poked it at my flesh, much like an acupressurist. The result? Uncontrollable giggling, and unbearable muscle spasms in the targeted "touch-spot".

    No more poloner garlic before bed.

    02/13/02 4:36:41a

    TMygunn777 (4:36 AM): So the line from Concrete Blonde's new single, "Roxy," goes like this: "Oh Roxy/You're my Maggie May..." how's that fer Rod-centric lyrics, even in a song about Brian Eno & Co.?

    Allen Broadway (4:37 AM): Mr. gunn---- I just found the best 25 mb file ever! can you do file transfers?

    TMygunn777 (4:38 AM): I dunno. i drinks a bit. But hey, like my old buddy Jimmy Buffett sez, the weather is here, i wish you were beautiful...lets give it a shot

    Allen Broadway (4:39 AM): speaking of shots. . .we're listening to Lou Reed "Growing Up In Public".

    TMygunn777 (4:40 AM): Ouch. I actually have that on vinyl. Let's not even talk about "metal machine music..."

    Allen Broadway (4:40 AM): Best album Nils Lofgren ever made.

    TMygunn777 (4:40 AM): however, the power of positive drinking is a mighty thing hey i just bought "Grin"

    Allen Broadway (4:41 AM): what's GRIN?

    TMygunn777 (4:41 AM): Nils Lofgren's band with his brother Tom. Grin.

    Allen Broadway (4:41 AM): woah.

    TMygunn777 (4:41 AM): jesus, it's gettin OLD Tom

    Allen Broadway (4:42 AM): man, we were actually LISTENING 2 I was only Joking my dear before we put this one on. Never A Dull Moment!

    TMygunn777 (4:42 AM): no shit. . . Sing it again, Rod!

    Allen Broadway (4:42 AM): have you heard about the Gene Simmons NPR interview? it's current.

    TMygunn777 (4:43 AM): yeah somebody sent me a link I havent read it yet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . like i said, i drinks a bit

    Allen Broadway (4:43 AM): I found the entire unedited interview. it's 25 MB! I'll give you the link and you can download it while you pass out. . . hang on. . .

    TMygunn777 (4:44 AM): pass out? hrmph! I begyer pardon sir, but just because i almost outta likker don't mean I yam. I gots a 12 pack o' Bud, an ounce o' weed, and a fresh bottle o' Nyquil, pal.

    Allen Broadway (4:51 AM): Who IS passed out?

    TMygunn777 (4:51 AM): naw no prob. I put it in favorite places for someday when I'm sober enough to find it

    Allen Broadway (4:51 AM): do you have a file titled "sober places"?

    TMygunn777 (4:51 AM): nobody. got Dave Hazeldine all stoned, Jess passed out, now I'm listenin' to the Bottle Rockets sing "Stoned Faces Don't Lie" by Doug Sahm

    Allen Broadway (4:51 AM): we're listening to the DUB MIX of "We Built This City" as we type.

    TMygunn777 (4:52 AM): yeah i figgered that

    Allen Broadway (4:52 AM): dude you need 2 upgrade yer AOL IM to 4.0.3 so's we can transfer files as we type. . . it's free. . . . .. .as a bird

    TMygunn777 (4:54 AM): yeah next time I have a computer geek over I'll check it out

    Allen Broadway (4:54 AM): man, I wish I was beautiful. . . .I mean there. . . .

    TMygunn777 (4:55 AM): I mainly just use this thing to coax 23 year old girls from California to come live with my drunk old ass here in freezing Minnesota...heheh : but that's gettin OLD TOM

    TMygunn777 (5:00 AM): aroooo!!!!!

    Allen Broadway (5:00 AM): shewolves of Bushwick?

    TMygunn777(7:00 AM): awwoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!.

    02/16/02 11:25:36a

    it's fab to hear your words clicking over the internet; chit chatering >like nervous coffee-blooded business-man reading wallsteet journal. >spilled it on his lap - tip of his dick burnt to a crisp sold to a young >man on a stick turned in to marketing revolution / charred dick on a stick >/choked /me gagging in the back of my white mini van with no windows. i'm >trapped? the heat charred my dick on a stick of a small boy that laughed at >my marketing ploy.

    02/20/02 3:56:29a

    I was bummed out.  I hate it when I get that way.  High high's and low low's, it's the story of my life but I'm used to it.  I decided to go to my friend Angela's house and smoke some pot with her and her boyfriend instead of taking the pills.  Then I went to the laundry-mat and cleaned it whilst listining to My Bloody Valentine.  I live in the ghetto.  All the bots were looking at me like "Who is this white boy and what is this music?" I'm the only white person in my neighborhood.  Just like you.  They sell crack on the corner that I live on.  The laundry mat is next door to my house.  My house is a total piece of shit, rotting in places.  Noone's lived in it for years. It's completely empty.  I just have a matress, my tape player, some books, and my guitar.  I can't complain too much I get to live there for free in exchange for opening and closing the laundry mat and keeping it clean.  During the day I do construction work renovating the building and the house.  I get paid for that...  Mabey I'll go to the bar tonight.  Last tuesday was Mardi Gras and I went to the bar and hooked up with some girl.  It was a fun night.  I tried to tell you about it the other day but the computer got fucked up and erased my message.  Mabey I'll see her again...  I just had an idea.  You should move here for a while and you can live in the other room of the house for free.  I need a drinking buddy. I know you won't want to but you should at least consider it for one second.  Or at least half a second.  Oh fuck it.  I've got to go close the laundry mat. Latrox.

    Month of January

    01/12/02 4:25:16p

    My grey matter has evolved to operate in flashing, full throttle fragmentation. My resting place is a thin rope where I flex my calves to stand on my tippy toes, balancing and attempting restraint on the slippery gears that verge on spinning right off my shoulders. I pour blues all over my spaceship, and it slows, but never stalls. Sitting firmly on my hands for a moment of precious immobilization, fidget, fidget, fidget. The great mind body battle, here I wager that I might remain in my skin, but it is fleeting in these choppy thoughts. And again, um, I am somewhere else.

    01/30/02 2:39:36p

    ironically, today i found out that i can have my relative's car who doesn't need it anymore! i am in shock and i hope to god i can afford the thing (insurance, etc)

    now i have a way to scout out the country and go visit communes so i can learn how they do it and all that! so, well now i have a reason to get my driver's license. then someday when i have my own garden and my own home with solar power i can park it in my garden and plant flowers in it. OR i could gut it out and park it in my house and put a bed inside it. OR it could be a cool dog house :)

    but for now it's a car, a way for me to perhaps expand my ability to break AWAY from needing a car. i'm gonna go visit wyoming. yes, i am.

    who knows...this is all new to me and i'm trying the best i can to get more independant.

    i don't know what else to say! i'm working it out.

    wow, this is really an intense time for me

    maybe i'll do a "thelma and louise" thang this summer?

    i can drive it out into the country and sing to my heart's content,

    i can experience night ALONE without fear, and can park it

    somewhere and do primal scream therapy, i could drive to the

    ocean and never come back!

    i'm going to paint it pink